On the edge of breaking down. (';

Skateboarding is what both of us shared. I always knew you're that one friend who knew me inside out.

Right , we both can relate through skateboarding but did you know skateboarding makes me so tired.
I mean I don't really skate and I pick up skateboarding just because of you , which I lose the real me and always appear in the fake me right infront of you.
Let me ask you would you appear infront of the one you love in the real you , or the fake you which you hide behind the so called '' mask ''.
The answer is obvious isn't it ?
Of course is the real you , that's what I wanted to do.

As all of my closed one knows that I took up skateboarding because of you and some of them even ask me isit worth it.

I only reply them this , For you is worth it.

You may say I am stupid / dumb and also might not think about how you feel.
I did each time I tried to relate by stepping inside your shoes but do you know how I feel , have you try.
Like appearing in the fake you infront of the one you love, have you?

I am really tired of it , that's why I tell you the fact that time you message me asking me to skate right after your own.

And I fake the giving away my board just to see if you really love me for who I really am and not who I am when I am with you.

Right after that we stopped texting , awhile later you posted on Facebook.

Saying thanks for giving me away , do you have any idea how those word hurts.
I may be a guy and guy do cry sometime !
I also have feeling.

What I am trying to point out in this whole thing is

If you can accept me for who I am without skateboarding I don't find a point for us to behave like this.
Passing remarks of facebook wall , but not saying each other name.
Yet its directly at the person.

And remember no matter how harsh reality or things become , I will still be here for you if you need a shoulder to lean on / or a ear to rant about your problems.

Short update , its been quite awhile since I update LOL.

Was kinda too busy with school and rarely have the time to update.
And this year my class is also the first batch to get a practical test, so I must concentrate more. Well , yeah.
Basically concentrate more on studies.

Will update soon again, ciao ! (:

Anyone got job to intro ? :l

Answer here

Ask me anything :> ! http://formspring.me/Emptylnside

Ask me anything :> http://formspring.me/Emptylnside

What I feel is pain do you guys understand or feel it ?
What I want wasn't a life like this but something which I called Love.
Is it so hard , yet my heart hurts so much ):
Even though my close ones are showing me Love or Care for me.
Is my heart dead ?

我觉得你们做的是痛苦的理解或感受呢？
我想不是这样的生活，但一些东西，我叫爱情。
这么难，但我的心这么难受）：
即使我身边的人都对我的爱我展示或护理。
我的心死了吗？

I can't stand in anymore , why does people always talk like they know me from inside out while they don't ! I really can't stand it , I really can't , why is all the bad things happening to me only.
I really don't know what to say right now, even my heart can tolerate it anymore.
Its feeling so heavy , as if its trembling in fear screaming in agony.
Sometime I really wish I could scream my lungs out and forget all these, yet it would never happen.
What I really want is someone to be my ears and listen. Someone who understand me , I really can't take it. The worst part is that it always happen in the family.
The cause is always about money , why ?
I really hate quarreling with my parents cause of money issues, I know they care but why?
Why do they talk like this to me ! They talk without even knowing how I would feel , seriously fuckmylife !
Even if hearing a whisper from someone right now telling me that - its okay, to cry your heart out believe me I would.
I really can't handle all this things , really really much !
It hurts so bad ! Why ?!
Even though I feel like self harming right now to cool down , can I ?
I really really can't take it , how I wish someone would literally talk to my parents and telling them beside me from speaking to them face to face.
I am always putting a strong front while deep inside , I am screaming in agony.
I really really can't take it anymore, I feel like dying. Can I just die ? )':